As I sit here in my office this evening, I have a very heavy heart. I had to do something today that was perhaps the most difficult thing that I have ever done and I pray that I never have to do it again. This afternoon we took Terri (and Karen’s) dog Mimi to the vet and had her put to sleep. I have known for over a year now that this needed to be done, I have secretly hoped that she would just pass a way in her sleep some night dreaming about chasing rabbits (or more realistically for Mimi, dreaming about an endless bowl of food, Mimi loved to eat)
Mimi couldn’t see very well anymore, here eyes were continually coated with a thick film of mucus that wouldn’t go away regardless of treatment. She had a terrible skin condition that has been a source of perpetual scratching for many years, no matter how many treatments the vet gave her to try and stop it. She had a kidney problem that left blood in her urine, she didn’t really have any bladder control anymore, she lost most of her teeth, her hair was falling out and she often cried out in pain for no apparent reason. But even with this laundry list of ailments, the decision was an incredibly painful one, and although, perhaps, it could have been postponed for a little while longer, I knew that it was time and in addition, circumstances in Terri’s life realistically made the decision for her.
This afternoon, Terri, Karen and I took Mimi to the local animal hospital petted her and told her what a good dog she was. We watched as the veterinarian aid took her away to put an IV into her so that the shot could be given to her as easily as possible, and when she returned we spent a few more minutes with her remembering the joy that she had brought to our family. When we were ready (as ready as we could be) I held her in my arms as Terri petted her and comforted her while the Doctor gave her the final shot. Tears streamed down my face as I thought about all that she had meant to us and I continued to hold her little black furry head as the shot began to take effect. I felt her little body go limp in my arms and it took every once of strength I had not to break down completely. Sometimes it really stinks to try and be some type of emotionally strong male figure when your heart would rather just say the heck with it. It has been a very long time since anything has hurt this much.
The doctor then checked her heart and said that she was gone. As we left the office, I took Karen and Terri back to the house and then I had to leave almost immediately for an appointment. I know now that I should have canceled the rest of the day, but I had no idea the impact that little black ball of fur would have on me. I managed to make it through the rest of my appointments but my thoughts and heart were with Mimi and Terri and Karen. I simply could not get the image of Mimi’s little black lifeless body lying on the table as we left the office out of my mind.
I know that there is nothing more important that we can do as a pet owner than be prepared to make those difficult decisions about life and death and suffering. I know that the last act of compassion that we can do for them is to be there with them and for them as they close their eyes for the last time. But this evening as I type though the blur of tears in my eyes, I can’t think of anything more painful.
I wish that tonight I could have written about the joy that Mimi brought to us and tell some of the wonderful Mimi stories that we have. But for now, the pain is too fresh and the sorrow is too heavy. Rest in peace little Mimi dog, rest in peace.
Blessings
Mimi couldn’t see very well anymore, here eyes were continually coated with a thick film of mucus that wouldn’t go away regardless of treatment. She had a terrible skin condition that has been a source of perpetual scratching for many years, no matter how many treatments the vet gave her to try and stop it. She had a kidney problem that left blood in her urine, she didn’t really have any bladder control anymore, she lost most of her teeth, her hair was falling out and she often cried out in pain for no apparent reason. But even with this laundry list of ailments, the decision was an incredibly painful one, and although, perhaps, it could have been postponed for a little while longer, I knew that it was time and in addition, circumstances in Terri’s life realistically made the decision for her.
This afternoon, Terri, Karen and I took Mimi to the local animal hospital petted her and told her what a good dog she was. We watched as the veterinarian aid took her away to put an IV into her so that the shot could be given to her as easily as possible, and when she returned we spent a few more minutes with her remembering the joy that she had brought to our family. When we were ready (as ready as we could be) I held her in my arms as Terri petted her and comforted her while the Doctor gave her the final shot. Tears streamed down my face as I thought about all that she had meant to us and I continued to hold her little black furry head as the shot began to take effect. I felt her little body go limp in my arms and it took every once of strength I had not to break down completely. Sometimes it really stinks to try and be some type of emotionally strong male figure when your heart would rather just say the heck with it. It has been a very long time since anything has hurt this much.
The doctor then checked her heart and said that she was gone. As we left the office, I took Karen and Terri back to the house and then I had to leave almost immediately for an appointment. I know now that I should have canceled the rest of the day, but I had no idea the impact that little black ball of fur would have on me. I managed to make it through the rest of my appointments but my thoughts and heart were with Mimi and Terri and Karen. I simply could not get the image of Mimi’s little black lifeless body lying on the table as we left the office out of my mind.
I know that there is nothing more important that we can do as a pet owner than be prepared to make those difficult decisions about life and death and suffering. I know that the last act of compassion that we can do for them is to be there with them and for them as they close their eyes for the last time. But this evening as I type though the blur of tears in my eyes, I can’t think of anything more painful.
I wish that tonight I could have written about the joy that Mimi brought to us and tell some of the wonderful Mimi stories that we have. But for now, the pain is too fresh and the sorrow is too heavy. Rest in peace little Mimi dog, rest in peace.
Blessings
3 comments:
Oh Jim, I am so sorry to hear about Mimi. I remember when my parents and I took our Katie to the vet for the last time. We all sat on the floor with her, comforting her as they gave her the needle. It was a very emotional time. Please know my prayers are with you and your family as you grieve the loss of this dear family member.
Oh, I am soooo sorry. Have been in that place and it is deep and dark. I have a new dog now, she is a great dog and we rescued her from a bad situation which makes me thankful. But I do miss my Buddy Dog a lot. My heart still hearts. It was a long time before we got our Mocha but she is also a great and loving dog. My husband brought her to the airport to pick me up yesterday. When I saw her head peaking out of the window and smiling...well you know the feeling. You will be able to talk about all the good things sometime. Will be praying.
She was the best Mimi in the whole world.
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