Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tired but Good...

As I sit here in my dorm room contemplating the day, I have truly begun to understand how blessed I am. I have a wonderful and healthy family, I have just about completed four of the most difficult and rewarding years of my life, I have been approved for Commissioning by the Board of Ordained Ministry, I just returned from a life changing trip to El Salvador, I am finally beginning to make sense of Michel Foucault, I only have one more paper to get done before class tomorrow and I have more than enough time to do that, graduation is in 53 days (not that I’m counting) and next week is a break week. (Well a break from school, but one of the busiest church weeks of the year) I have 5 services to prepare for next week, so that will take most of my time. So as I relax this evening, it just feels good to be doing what God has called me to do, even though I know that I do tend to complain once in awhile:)

Blessings

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Dog...


I know that this is a bit on the long side, but I was so touched by it that I thought you might enjoy it as well. It is titled simply "The Dog..."

"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me."Can't you do anything right?"Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle."I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.

At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair.

As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?"The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?""Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision."I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly. Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones.

Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me.. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!"Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed,his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." "I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article... Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . .. his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.


Blessings

Friday, March 27, 2009

NO WORK ZONE!


I’m pretty excited today. I have decided to make today a NO WORK ZONE! We are taking off in a few minutes to run a couple of errands in Seymour followed by a trip to Columbus, IN for an excursion to a beauty salon (not for me) and maybe a stop by the Verizon store to see if I can find any accessories for my new phone that I can put on my wish list.

After that we are planning to go and visit our friends Ron and Nancy up in Shelbyville. Ron is retiring this year and he has all kinds of church related and theological books that he wants to get rid of, as they are downsizing into a condo in the Smoky Mountains. (lucky dogs) So, for me it will be a little bit like a kid in a candy store as I go through all of those books and put them on the long list of books that I want to read when I get done reading all of the books that I have to read:)

All in all, my plan is for an enjoyable relaxing day, no place that I have to be and nothing that is required. That leaves me all day tomorrow, Sunday and Monday to do the 6 days worth of work that needs to be done by Tuesday. Maybe after I graduate I can actually stop being behind schedule:)

Blessings

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Be True To Your School... What Am I Saying?

This morning I have decided that my blog entry is going to just be a mish-mash of the random thoughts which have been going through my brain. It could be that at this point my brain is overloaded to the point where it is incapable of stringing together a continuous thread of coherant thought, but then again, that really isn’t all that unusual for me:)

For some reason when I wake up on Thursday mornings, it always feels like a Monday. I am sure that it could have something to do with living in two worlds, spending half the week in Ohio and the other half at home in Indiana, or on the other hand, it could simply be dementia setting in from reading too much Michel Foucault.

Actually, I had a wonderful conversation with my Foucault professor yesterday, I shared with her my idea for a final project and got her approval, she is such a kind hearted person, and I think that she is an excellent example of the superior job that MTSO does in selecting the right people for our faculty. (And no, I can assure you that she doesn’t read my blog, so I am not just sucking up to the teacher) LOL

Another thing happened yesterday that opened my eyes to something that I have been thinking about. We had a visitor in our Evangelism class, a young woman from Indiana who is contemplating coming to MTSO in the fall. As I was talking to her, I found myself truly wanting her to come to MTSO and I found myself sharing with her all of the reasons that she would want to pick our school over the plethora of other choices that are out there.

The bottom line, as I left her, was that I am very much realizing how much I have really valued my time at MTSO. I have tremendous respect for the faculty, although I don’t personally agree with all of them and I believe that MTSO is the most beautiful campus of any in the United Methodist system, at least that I have seen. You might have noticed in my Blog yesterday that I mentioned going back on an annual basis to attend the Schooler Institute, which is an annual preaching symposium, this thought caused me to reflect back almost 30 years ago to when I graduated from Chiropractic College. After I left Marietta, GA, I had absolutely no thought of EVER going back to that school, I never wanted to darken those doors again, and I never have.

Do you suppose that my experience in Chiropractic college all those years ago was really that bad, or do you suppose that maybe I have just grown up a lot in the past 30 years? I think the jury may still be out on that one.

Blessings:)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

One More Item Off My List...

Last night I crossed another milestone on my journey toward graduation. My Cross Cultural class that went to El Salvador met for the last time. It was kind of a bitter sweet moment. On one hand I knew that this was one more significant item that I could mark off my "To Do" list before graduation, but on the other hand, I realize that each of these people who have become so special to me will begin to drift out of my life. I will still see a few of my fellow travelers in classes for the next six weeks, but others like our leader John, I may possibly never see again, and I find that quite sad.

One of the things about John that I have found so remarkable is that we are on totally different ends of the political spectrum, but other than our differences in politics, I have had to laugh at the great number of things that we have in common. Perhaps it is our age, which is close to the same, perhaps it is the fact that our families are similar, but regardless, I have found him to be a warm, kind and generous spirit who has taught me a great deal, and who I will remember for the rest of my life.

When you get to be my age, there are certain truths that begin to repeat themselves. I know that over the next few weeks I will begin to say my goodbyes to people who have meant a great deal to me over the past 4 years. We will say “keep in touch,” but the reality of life, distance and schedules says that keeping in touch won’t be likely. Some people I will be able to remain in contact with through Facebook and their blogs, others I will get to see a few times a year at Annual Conference or when I come back to Ohio annually to attend the Schooler Institutes, but life experience has taught me that it won’t be the same. Over the next few weeks as I continue to do things for the “last” time, it is my prayer and hope that I take the time to truly thank the people who have been so generous and kind to me through this process and that wherever God leads me in the future, I will take with me a small part of each one of them.

Blessings

Monday, March 23, 2009

If It's Monday, It Must Be Foucault...

Basically today I have two books to get through. I really do need to quit procrastinating! One of the books is for Evangelism class on Wednesday and we will be having a reading quiz over that one, and the other book is for my Foucault class tomorrow and I will be answering 4 questions on that reading. All in all, I would say that these readings alone will keep me pretty busy today, unfortunately I also have another “To Do” list which is even longer. I know what you’re thinking, I really should quit complaining. Even though it sounds like I am complaining, actually I’m not really, well, not a lot anyway:) Each one of these assignments is one more that I can check off my list to get done before May and each week of heading to Ohio brings me one week closer to the last trip.

I have pondered many times about what my thoughts and feelings will be when I make the last trip over to Seminary (pondering is one of those things I do very well), preparing to hand in my final work. I will bet that there will be a certain amount of mixed emotions. I will definitely be glad to be finished with the drives over and back, and my car will certainly appreciate the rest. I will be very glad to be finished with all of that school work as well. I won’t have nearly as much reading and writing to do, especially the kind that someone else asks me to do, instead I will be able to do the reading and writing that I want to. But ultimately, I think that there will be a certain amount of sadness. There will be people that I won’t get to see very often, and some that I will never see again, and that will be sad.

Oh well, I guess I should get busy reading these books, there will be plenty of time to reflect once I get the work done, but we procrastinators always love to spend more time thinking about what needs to be done than we do actually doing it :)

Blessings

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Spring is Here!


Spring is finally here, I have been anxiously waiting for this day since winter first reared its head back in December. Do you get the feeling that winter isn’t my favorite time of year? I mean, I absolutely love Fall, I very much enjoy Spring, Summer is really good, (it doesn’t rank quite so high because those hot days are hard on an old fat boy like me) But Winter has just never been my friend.

Maybe it’s because of that terrible winter back in 1979 or whatever the year of the great blizzard was, maybe it’s because of the time I nearly got my hands frostbitten sledding in the snow at the high school and wasn’t smart enough to come in when I got too cold, and maybe it was the winter where I flattened four tires on my dads van (not all at the same time) because I kept sliding into curbs (Dad made me purchase a new set of tires)

What ever the reason, from the first day of winter, I hold my breath, and pray for Spring, and as of 7:44 AM Friday, Spring is officially here and I can now breath a little more easily, well that is except for all of the pollen in the air and the allergies kicking in, I just can’t win can I :)

Blessings

Friday, March 20, 2009

Unconditional Love... Yeah Right!


I had to laugh this morning when I woke up and was listening to a few moments of the "Today Show." I was introduced to the actress Jamie Pressley who apparently stars in the series “My Name is Earl,” although you couldn’t prove it by me. She was being interviewed because she has written some kind of book, and although the book did sound interesting, it was an observation that she made that caused me to laugh. She was talking about how much she loved her young son Dezi James, which of course I would expect to hear from a young mother, but then she said something about the unconditional love that Dezi has for her, and I have to admit that I just about fell out of bed laughing.

I wonder where this idea has come from with young mothers, this idea of wanting or perhaps needing this unconditional love from a child. I don’t want to burst her bubble, but it doesn’t work that way, or at least I have never seen it work that way. I don’t know how many times I have watched on TV shows like Dr. Phil, or Oprah, (and I almost never see these shows) interviews with young mothers or young girls who want to have children and they all seem to have some Pollyanna idea that these beautiful babies will unconditionally love them. Uhhhh, that might work until they turn say….. 2, and then you find out how quickly that love turns "conditional." As an example, Mother says: “You need to go to bed now.” Child responds; “NO, I DON”T LIKE YOU” Mother says, “Could you please clean your room?” Child responds, “NO!” and screams and runs away.

I mean, if you want just one small example of this “unconditional love” just watch ANY episode of “The Nanny” or “Nanny 911” and it doesn’t take long to realize that whereas we parents have, or should have, unconditional love for our children, the child hasn’t read the manual that says children should have unconditional love for the parent.

So my advice to young mothers who are either expecting unconditional love from their child, or want to have a child to experience this unconditional love……. Buy a Dog instead, or better yet go to the dog pound and pick up a stray and you will have unconditional love from them for the rest of their life, but a child? Probably not so much:)

Blessings

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dad Needs a New Phone...


I am very excited today. I am sitting here anxiously awaiting the Federal Express guy. For the past few months I have been contemplating this idea of upgrading my phone. To be honest, phone shopping along with most other types of shopping is not my favorite thing to do, so consequently, I put it off as long as possible. My cell phone carrier is Verizon, so I can upgrade to a new phone every 2 years, but, I have had my current phone for almost 3 years now, and I am beginning to sense that it has seen better days.

The problem that I have been faced with is that the new phones today can do so many things, many of which I have no interest in. I really don’t need to check my emails, update my Facebook status, surf the Internet, or twitter and tweet (what ever that is) from my phone. I decided that what I really would like is a phone that will make phone calls. (I know, I don’t ask for much do I) I would also like a phone that had a keyboard, not for texting, I still have no interest in that, but to be able to take my Microsoft Office files with me when I am out and waiting in hospitals. I also wanted a phone that would do a good job of keeping a calendar for my schedule and allow me to easily jot down sermon ideas while I am out and away from my office. Essentially I decided that I would like to have something along the lines of a Blackberry, Smartphone, or PDA.

It is a little sad, all of my kids have phones with those capabilities, but poor old dad is still stuck in the ancient technology of about 5 years ago. What was even more sad was that my daughter got a new Blackberry a couple of days ago, and she has had a new phone much more recently than me, I really am behind the times, I am turning into my parents more and more everyday.

So with that new found motivation of keeping up with Terri, I began to shop in earnest. What I wanted was a phone that would be able to download and upload Word documents from my computer, have a decent calendar and scheduling capability, have a touch screen, preferably with a stylus (I have had some prior experience with that, plus I have fat fingers) and NOT require that I pay an extra $30.00 per month for a data package from Verizon.

So with those parameters in mind, I went to the Verizon Wireless web site and entered the chat area and asked their representative what phones would fit within those bounds. Within a few seconds, the representative provided me with a list of about 5 phones that would work for my purposes. The first one was $199.00 and had a bunch of features that I would never use. Another choice was out of stock, and that left me with one that I could upgrade to for $19.00 and one that was Free. I put them up side by side and it wasn’t even a close choice, the Free phone did everything I wanted and needed, plus it had a built in MP3 player, Whoo hooo.

So, sometime between now and 4:30, I will receive my new Palm Centro and I will be able to embark on a new era of efficiency, all of my scheduling conflicts will be eliminated, I will be on time from now on and procrastination will no longer be a challenge for me……. Ok, maybe I went a bit to far, lets just say, by 4:30 my new phone should be here, I think that we can all agree on that:)

Blessings

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Another Couple of Hours and I Can Go Home!

Today has been a good day so far. I was up early, finished my reflection paper on Ephesians and its relationship to evangelism. Actually, I very much enjoyed writing that paper. Then I went to breakfast and finalized my presentation for Evangelism class this afternoon, and now I am sitting in class relaxing waiting for class to start. I used to be able to go back to my dorm room and take a short nap before afternoon classes, but they have rearranged the dorm rules and I have to be checked out before noon, so that means that I might have to take a nap in class:)

Now all I have to do is give my presentation and drive home, and the rest of the week looks pretty normal so far. Of course we all know that can change in a moment so I won’t be too surprised if the week suddenly becomes crazy.

Oh well, I guess I should get ready to pay attention here, or maybe I will close my eyes for a few minutes, I hope I don’t snore :)

Blessings

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Do I Need To See A Doctor?


I think that I am beginning to come down with a serious health condition. My symptoms seem to be an overall lethargy about anything related to seminary, an inability to focus and concentrate on the papers that need to be written, and a total lack of desire to read anything that someone else tells me that I have to read. I went online and discovered that my symptoms were identical to a condition called senioritis. It seems that the only known treatment for this condition is to graduate as soon as practical, and I will tell you that May 23rd can not possibly come soon enough right now.

The best news is that I only have to make 7 more trips to Ohio. When I look at it that way, I might just make it yet:)


Blessings

Monday, March 16, 2009

A Clustering We Will Go….

One of the key programs that is being initiated with the merger of the North and South Indiana Conference is an opportunity for the churches to work together in Ministry Clusters. Last night we attended the meeting which was designed to begin this process. I have to admit that I was very proud of the turnout from Crothersville and Cana last night. Between the two churches, we had 8 people representing our congregations, I’m not sure that even the larger churches did better than that.

We had the opportunity to meet with Bishop Coyner and discuss what was expected of our congregations, and also to get an understanding of the vision that is being created for the new Indiana Conference. It was very much a party atmosphere, with each church bringing signs like a political convention. It was all very exciting.

Ultimately, Crothersville and Cana have agreed to work with 5 other churches right up and down the I-65 corridor and I think that we have a good blend of larger churches and smaller churches which should be beneficial to everyone.

On the personal side of last night, I couldn’t believe how many people came up to me to congratulate me on my acceptance by the Board of Ordained Ministry. I didn’t know that so many people were even aware of it. On the other hand, it was definitely a little intimidating as well as humbling to hear two different District Superintendents tell me that my name has come up in the Cabinet Meetings with the Bishop. (I wish I knew what they were talking about.) I’m glad that I gave up on the idea of having control over my life a long time ago. I think I will just sit back and see what God has planned for me.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Beware of the Ides of March...


For those of you who remember your Shakespeare, this was the warning given to Caesar by the soothsayer just before his unfortunate date with the Roman Senate. Unfortunately, for Caesar, he didn’t listen. The Ides of March would have been an excellent time for him to have gotten out of Rome and taken a Mediterranean Cruise, but instead I guess he figured that he should stay home and get some work done. (Big mistake)

As for me, I am following in Caesars footsteps and staying home trying to get some work done, although I am really thinking that a Mediterranean Cruise sounds like a lot more fun. I have to admit that I haven’t heard any specific warnings, but I still think that caution around this time of year might not be a bad idea, one can't be too prudent you know. I for one have no intention of walking into the Roman Senate anytime in the next couple of days, nor am I nearly as bold as Caesar to tempt fate by reminding the soothsayer that the Ides of March have come, to which the soothsayer replied, “Aye Caesar, but not gone.” (You think he would have taken the hint)

So, as I think about all the work that needs to be done over these next couple of days, I think that I will have to put some serious thought into the Mediterranean Cruise instead, and if not a cruise, then maybe a paddle in my kayak around Hardy Lake. Either way, the idea of work, just doesn’t sound like the way to go, it sure didn’t seem to work out for Caesar :)

Blessings

Friday, March 13, 2009

GO MEAT!


Today is an exciting day in the Higdon household, we are awaiting a new addition. No, not another Grandchild, and we certainly aren’t getting another dog. Sometime after 1:00 PM today the man from the used furniture store will be delivering a new freezer, well new to us:) This is actually a big day for us. We have been married for 28 years and this is our first freezer, well, not including the ones on top of the refrigerators. Come to think of it, I don’t think that my Mom and Dad ever had a freezer and I don’t think I ever remember seeing on at Karen’s parents house either.

I still have to laugh when I think of one of my favorite Andy Griffith episodes when the family freezer is not working well, and poor Gomer tries to fix it and almost gets asphyxiated. (I love Gomer) To this day when something needs to be repaired around our house and I say that I can fix it, Karen looks at me without a hesitation and says “Just call the man” which is what Andy tried to get Aunt Bea to do the entire episode, just call the repairman to come and fix it. Andy ultimately solved what was becoming a real problem, which included Aunt Bea being chased down the street by a pack of dogs, by simply replacing the freezer with a new one, which brings me to the reason that we are getting a freezer in the first place.

We are very blessed. Our church family at Cana UMC had a “real dilemma,” they had an “extra” side of beef that they just didn’t know what to do with, so they wondered if Karen and I could take it off their hands:) I have never been surrounded by such a group of kind and generous people in my life as I have been with the folks from Cana and Crothersville. Of course there is one catch, actually 2 catches. The first catch is that I have to be up and out by 7:00 Saturday morning to go help process the side of beef. This is actually one of the coolest operations I have ever seen, the family works like a well oiled machine processing a side of beef better than any meat packer could in just about an hour or so.

I have helped the family several times in the past, doing everything from running the meat grinder for hamburger, to scraping the fat off the meat. (They don’t trust me to use the saws or the sharp knives which is probably smart of them) The one thing that I did have to request was that I not have to help kill the cow, I’m afraid that if I had to look in those big brown eyes I might not be so excited about eating him, well, that might last about as long as it took for the smell of those 1 ½ inch T- bone steaks on the grill to start filling my nostrils:) (sorry to my vegetarian friends, but what can I say, I love meat) The only thing that I have done so far that has made me squeamish, to the point that I had to leave, was when they started running the livers through the meat grinder. I think that it must have been a combination of the sounds that the liver made, and what it looked like when it came out of the grinder that made me say, “Well, if you don’t need me anymore, I really need to get home and work on my sermon for tomorrow.”

The other catch was that we didn’t have room in our freezer for a side of beef, so after 1:00 this afternoon, that problem will be resolved, and by the time I get home tomorrow afternoon with the meat, the freezer will be all ready to put it in. For some reason this morning I feel like the guys in the Hillshire Farms Commercial: “GO MEAT” I can’t wait!

Blessings

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Friends are Friends Forever


I had an excellent day yesterday. I had the opportunity to have lunch with my oldest friend. Well, let me rephrase that, he is actually only one year older than me, but we have been great friends since our first week in Chiropractic College together which would have been in 1979. Here we were, the two youngest people in our class of 130 people, I think that we just naturally migrated to each other.

I have always said that Rick single handedly got me through Chiropractic College. I still remember the countless hours of studying (some of it by the pool of his apartment complex) and the even more difficult task he had of listening to a friend who was often sad and homesick, living 981 miles from home. (The exact miles from my apartment in Marietta, Georgia to my home in Moline, Ill) It’s funny that after nearly 30 years, that number is still etched in my mind. Rick was always patient and understanding, and definitely the better student.

As we talked yesterday, it brought back a flood of memories such as when Karen and I had to flee from our apartment and move in with Rick for a couple of days because of a flea infestation. Or, the hours of waiting for the mailman to bring the results of our National Board exams. I still remember going to school that morning and listening to everyone as they shared whether or not they had passed all of the parts of the Board exam, and then rushing home to be sure to be there when the mailman arrived around 1:00PM. The time seemed to pass so slowly until I finally saw him coming down the street. He paused for a moment at my mail box and then continued on his way. I almost ripped the screen door off the hinges rushing outside to get that priceless envelope. I had been told by my classmates that if the envelope was thin then it was good news. If it was thick, then there would be additional information about retaking the exams.

I reached in the mailbox and pulled out…… the electric bill. Wait a minute, there must be a mistake, everyone else had gotten their results. I turned and chased after the mailman, who must have been momentarily concerned for his safety with this frantic young man running toward him and yelling. I asked him if he was sure that there wasn’t something else in his bag for me, which he diligently searched and said…. “Oh here is a letter for you, I’m sorry, I must have missed that one.” I grabbed the letter, without even remembering to say thank-you, went back to my apartment, sat down and slowly opened it, praying for the best, but fearing the worst. Thank-goodness I was put out of my misery quickly, the first word was congratulations, whoooo hoooo.

It’s funny how priceless those moments are in our lives. I am so grateful to Rick for everything that he did for me then, as well as for the closeness of our friendship over the past 30 years. I once heard a motivational speaker say that there are two things that will make the greatest difference between the person you are today and the person you will be 5 years from now. The first would be the books that you read and the second would be the people that you meet, and while I think that he makes a very good point, I beleive that I will add a third one to his list and that would be the friends that you continue to hold dear.

I pray that each of you take the time today to call an old friend and let them know how much you appreciate them. We simply can’t make it on this journey alone. Where would Frodo Baggins have been without Sam Wise Gamgee? (Lord of the Rings)

Blessings

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Just Let It Go...


Learning to navigate all of the protocols of the Facebook phenomena can be rather challenging if not totally daunting. I mean, it’s easy to comment on something or to someone who is truly your friend, but what about someone that you really don’t know all that well? Once again, it is easy if you agree with them, everyone likes to hear a, “way to go” or “I like that,” but what do you say if something they have posted is fraught with inaccuracy, rude or just plain wrong? This becomes even more of a problem, when you know that you hold a significant minority opinion among your “friends.”

It never ceases to amaze me when people use words like inclusive and diversity as their mantra, but then post articles that ridicule groups of people or individuals who disagree with their world view. It amazes me when I watch and listen to people as they throw around the phrase,”this should be banned!” I really worry that my friends haven’t paid attention in their history classes. Perhaps they were spending too much time twittering and facebooking. (is that a word?) Because, if they did pay attention, they would have learned that the first steps to dehumanizing someone or a group is to marginalize them, make fun of them, start spreading information about them that isn’t accurate, blame them for what is wrong with society and once you have an audience, call for boycotts and bans against them. If these people did study history, they would recognize that this was the same behavior used by the Nazis’ to justify the murder of six million Jews. I have frequently thought of this quote by Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)

In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

So what do I do? Comment and know that I will be thrown under the bus? Perhaps ask a few thought provoking questions and hope that they can recognize their own hypocrisy? Or, just let it go? For now, I think I will put my head down, keep my mouth shut, and just graduate. Then maybe some of these problems will take care of themselves.

Blessings

Monday, March 9, 2009

Stop Picking On Me!!


I have to admit that in one way I feel that I am probably not qualified to comment on the state of education in our schools today. However, I certainly do feel qualified to comment on my own personal experience and I will leave it up to you as to what extent my experience translates into the reality of the state of our classrooms today. I will simply let you be the judge.

Yesterday, it seems like my day was focused on education. After church I had the opportunity to go to lunch with a young friend of mine and I must tell you that for a young man who is only in the second grade, he is wise well beyond his years. During our conversation we covered every topic on earth from his favorite race driver on Mario Cart, which happens to be Toadstool, to the proper way to care for a pet tarantula, which thank goodness he doesn’t have yet, but he is sure hoping.

However, when the subject turned to school, I could see an immediate change in his demeanor and his level of enthusiasm. My heart broke as we talked about how on a daily basis the other kids picked on him on the bus and at school. It seemed that no matter what he did, he just couldn’t avoid the constant bombardment of torments and teasing. And, no matter what his parents tried, and no matter how many converstaions with the school officials they had, nothing seemed to help.

For me, it was as if I was suddenly transported back 40 years to another young boy that I knew very well, that was the smallest and youngest in his class, a boy who always seemed strange to the other kids because he was better at things like music than he was at sports and because of this, for some reason, he always seemed to be the favorite target of the bigger kids and those who just went along because it was easier to pick on the weak than it was to stand up for what was right.

As I listened I couldn’t help but wonder why this type of bullying is still allowed to happen in our schools and on the bus. Haven’t we learned some way in all of these years to protect these kids? Now don’t get me wrong. I have always been a big supporter of teachers. My Mom was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, I have two cousins that are teachers and my sister is a teacher. I come from a long line of teachers, but with that being said, I just don’t feel that there is enough done today, or ever for that matter, to protect those who can’t protect themselves.

I think back to an experience that we had when our son was finishing 5th grade. It was the last day of school and the kids were on the playground. Our son, who followed in my footsteps as far as being the unfortunate target of bullying, was struck in the face by another student. With a bleeding face and broken glasses he went up to the teacher on duty who immediately told him to stand up against the wall, that recess was about over. No investigation, no talking to the bully who perpetrated the attack, not even an attempt at justice. It was Ben who was punished for getting his face in the way of the other boy’s fist and forced to stand up against the wall.

After calling the principal and asking why no one seemed to care what happened, I was told that the teachers are very busy watching all of those kids and that she made the decision that she thought was best at the time. I simply asked the principal what message was he sending? Knowing that you are going to be the one punished, why would you ever be willing to do what you are supposed to do and go to the teacher when something like this happens? I asked the principal, would you like for me to teach my child that the next time this happens to knock the "holy bee gees" out of the other kid? Of course, the principal then answered, “Well, of course you know that fighting is never the solution to the problem,” to which I agreed and said that he was right, the solution is to go to someone in authority and tell them what happened, but we could see how far my son got following the "right" course of action.

I realize that this problem is as old as humanity itself, and that there are no easy solutions to these problems. It just breaks my heart to know that there are kids going to school everyday that are bullied and terrorized and our schools, despite their rhetoric, are allowing it to go on seemingly unchecked.

My prayer today is for all of those kids, who really ask nothing more than that they are allowed to go to school in peace, and that they be respected and allowed simply to be themselves. I pray for our educators who are charged with a tremendously difficult job, often not being given the resources that they need to do the work the way it should be done. And finally, I pray for the kids who do the bullying, that God touch their hearts and allow them to see their fellow students as God sees them, as children of God.

Blessings

Saturday, March 7, 2009

What a Difference a Week Makes...

What a difference a week makes. I was thinking back to what I wrote last Saturday night and I can’t help but to remember the intense sense of fear and trepidation I was feeling. Of course, when my entire future was waiting to be decided by a group of people that I didn’t even know, I suppose that maybe I had at least a little reason for concern.

Now, fast forward one week, and tonight as I am getting prepared to turn my clocks ahead and get to bed early since we will lose an hours sleep tonight, it seems that my entire outlook on life has changed. I am feeling positive about my future for what feels like the first time in a very long time, and I can’t really even describe the sense of confidence that I suddenly seem to have.

I must admit that this feeling of confidence is the one that surprises me the most. Is it because some outside group has confirmed my call? If that is the case, it makes me question my own level of faith even to the point of being rather ashamed that I wasn’t more confident in what God could do in my life. Is it because I proved something to myself? That would bother me just as much because after all of the challenges and hardships of the last four years, if I haven’t proven to myself that I could do it by now, then perhaps I never will. (roughly paraphrased from one of my favorite movies “Rudy”)

Perhaps, my feeling of confidence comes from humbly watching as God has worked a miracle in my life, and now I am more ready than ever before to come down from the mountaintop experience and get out in the world and share what this great and awesome God has done for me. I think out of all the options I like this one best of all.

Well, it’s time to get to bed, I can’t wait for tomorrow to see what God is going to do next! And no matter what happens, I am going to need my rest:)

Blessings

Friday, March 6, 2009

Highs and Lows...


Today has the look and feel of what can become a very busy day. There are two things however, that are highest on my priority list, they are, preparing for a funeral tomorrow and getting my sermon done for Sunday. I am certainly looking forward to graduating so that hopefully my sermon preparation can be done a little earlier in the week. That sounds like it should be able to happen since I won’t have the 8 hour round trip to Ohio and school work to contend with, but who knows, this time next year I may still be telling you on Friday morning that I need to work on my sermon for Sunday:)

I also want to share with you something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for the past couple of days. While I was in the middle of my joy and exuberance over passing the Board, I found out that a very dear friend of mine was denied by the board. You might remember me telling you that the board has three options. Approval, Delaying for a year and Denial. If one is Denied, they are no longer eligible to even reapply in the future, their journey in the United Methodist Church is over.

My friend has completed nine years of college and seminary education, seven years in the Candidacy process, attended three Annual Conferences, and served two Appointments and now he has been Denied by the Board and informed that his License will be allowed to expire on July 1. I share this with you for two reasons. The first is that I have tried to be as open and honest with you as I could about how I have been feeling throughout this entire journey that we have been on together, and second is that I wanted you to know that when I was expressing my most profound fears to you throughout this process, that they were indeed founded upon reality and not some desire to garner sympathy or assurance from you.

I understand that when we look at this Candidacy process, we are only able to look at it though our own unique lens. None of us are privileged to truly see all sides. As a Candidate, I can not possibly know the pressures and stress that the Board is under. I am also not privy to the information contained within the voluminous files that the board members had to carry around and be intimately familiar with. With that being said, I also understand that the board members only have a short period of time to truly get to know each candidate and they ultimately have to rely a great deal on what we write in our answers and what others may say about us in letters of recommendation and conversation.

Throughout this process I have been assured by one important thing and that is my knowledge that God is Good all the time, and that no matter what happens, God will always be there for me. My heart goes out to my friend, but I also have the assurance that God has very great things planned for him and his wonderful young family.

Blessings

Thursday, March 5, 2009

"My Dad Has Facebook...How Crazy is That?"


Today I feel like I have taken a massive step forward in the world of communication and technology only to realize that I am still light years behind most of the people I know. I received an email a few weeks ago about joining a group of my fellow seniors on Facebook as a way to communicate about our upcoming graduation. Of course my initial response was uhhhhhhh “No Thanks.” Unfortunately, I began to discover that if I was going to have any information at all about what was going on, I would have to take the plunge and join Facebook.

My first reaction was WOW. I can’t believe how much information is out there about all of my friends. Part of me is very excited, I have learned more about some of the people that I know in this first day than I have about them in all the time that I have known them. I even learned that Crystal and Mary went to see Miss America yesterday which is a very cool thing.

My second reaction was a bit terrifying. There is so much information that is available out there that I can see why parents would be, and should be, concerned about what information kids have on their Facebook pages. I was showing Karen what people had written and then I showed her that Terri said “My dad has Facebook… How crazy is that? And she noticed that it was posted sometime in the middle of the night, and wanted me to type back a message and tell Terri that she was staying up way too late. Then I mentioned that I could do that but it would be seen by all of my “friends” and all of Terri’s “friends” and did she really want me to do that? Uhhhh probably not!

My third reaction was that I am very glad that I didn’t discover Facebook 3 years ago, or I might not be graduating. Yesterday afternoon in class, I found myself working on my Facebook page, sending requests to people that I knew to put me on their list, and responding to friends who wanted to add me to theirs, (Yes I know I should have been paying attention, but it was really boring, and plus I am graduating in a couple of months:) I then saw a message that said, Sherry (name changed to protect the guilty): “isn’t paying attention” Then I realized that “Sherry” was sitting right in front of me, and I responded by saying that Sherry should be paying attention like I am, Which she responded that since I am paying such close attention she could borrow the copious notes that I was obviously taking, to which I responded uhhhh errrrr uhhhhh, the dog ate my notes, to which someone on the other side of class then commented and laughed at our conversation. Suddenly I discovered that half the class was on Facebook following the conversation.

Oh My! I can’t believe how far out of the communications loop I have been all of these years. With that being said, I can see the benefits of Facebook, and I can certainly see the problems with it. For now, I will try to avoid getting addicted to it and I will make every attempt not to log on while in class, regardless of how boring it may be. Technology can be exciting, and all of these new ways to communicate can be fun, but I still prefer the face to face kind. I remember having the conversation a few months ago about this new technology and being told that we now know more about what someone is thinking and feeling and what is going on in the lives of our families and friends than ever before. To this I agree, I think that we have much more information about other people, for better or for worse, than ever before. But, it is important that we don’t go on information overload and confuse knowing information about someone with the real communication of reaching out and touching their hearts:)

Blessings

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

So, what does it all mean?


I thought that today I would take some time to fill you in on what passing the interview process of the board’s means both personally and professionally. The next step is to go before the Executive Session at Annual Conference the end of June for a final vote, so as much as I would like to think that it is a done deal, there is still one more critical vote to come. With that being said, I have been to 5 Annual Conferences, sat through 5 Executive Sessions and have watched over 100 people go up for a vote, and during that time, I have heard a total of maybe 10 individual “NO” votes spread between 100 different people over that time. In other words, almost everyone is unanimously accepted and no one has ever been voted down at Annual Conference that I have seen, so unless I do something pretty bad between now and June to upset the entire State of Indiana, I should be just fine:)

The next thing this means is that I will need to have a full time appointment. As a “Provisional Member” it is required by Discipline that I spend the next 3 years of preparation working in a full time position. Now with that being said, it doesn’t mean that I will be moved. They also have the ability to add another charge onto the two that I have in order to bring me to full time status. I love Crothersville and Cana, and if they ask me (which they won’t) my vote is to stay put where I am. But, this decision is strictly up to the Bishop and the Cabinet, and my only input is to do what I am told to do, and go where I am called.

During the next 3 years, I will be enrolled in a program called RIM, Residence in Ministry program. Although I don’t know a great deal about the program, I do know that I will be meeting with this group of people on a very regular basis over the next 3 years, attending regular weekend retreats as well as longer ones once per year. The process is designed to prepare me for Ordination at the end of the three year period. I believe that this will be an enjoyable experience and it will be a good transition from the daily work of seminary to a little less rigorous learning environment.

Words really can’t describe how I am feeling about all of this. I hardly slept at all Sunday night worrying about the interviews and then Monday night I hardly slept thinking about all of the pressure that had come off from my shoulders. I now have at least some sort of guarantee of a job for the next 3 years which wasn’t the case at all a few days ago. I have the guarantee of a place to live, and I will not have to think about what to do with Odie if some place didn’t want animals. (we Methodists think that it is important that pastors and their families be allowed to have dogs and cats) I can now focus on these last few weeks of seminary, and Lent, and Holy Week, and Vacation Bible School, and all of those other things that don’t seem quite so stressful now.

In reality, we have only one real challenge remaining for us over the next 3 months and that is to come up with about $2500 before they will let me graduate. But, the funny thing is that after the experience with the Board, I have truly learned to quite worrying about these things, I have no doubt that God is busy right now working to help me solve this roadblock, and that just like every other semester before, this little miracle will happen as well.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Blessings

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Monday was one long day....


As you could tell from yesterday’s post, I did indeed pass my interviews with the Board of Ordained Ministry. It was a very long challenging day. I was up and out the door a little after 5:00 AM, I wanted to be sure to leave plenty of time since I didn’t know exactly where I was going. After I arrived, the Board and all of the candidates went into the sanctuary for a welcome time of reflection, prayer and worship. Then we were told what the pattern for the day would be and then each of us was ushered to our first interview.

In general, I found the interviews to be warm and affirming. I had great fears that the questions would be difficult and technical in nature such as, explain the concept of the Economic Trinity (which I could have answered that one:) or something even worse. The entire trip up to Plainfield was consumed with panic over thoughts of questions that they could possibly ask that I couldn’t answer. However, the questions were all very open ended and to be honest, I felt that thy were basic questions that any pastor should be able to articulate.

Most of the time I felt a little bit like a batter taking batting practice and hitting one after the other over the fence. For instance one of the questions was, tell us about your understanding of Wesleyan Theology and what makes it unique? That may not sound too easy to most of you, but to a United Methodist pastor who has spent the last 4 years at a United Methodist Seminary, studying Wesleyan Theology with professors who have written books on the subject, trust me, it is a simple question.

I have to admit that what made me the most proud was that I heard several times from the interviewers that my paperwork and answers to the questions that I wrote before leaving for El Salvador were excellent, and 3 different interviewers commented on my video taped sermon, saying that sometimes it is very difficult to watch these sermons, but that mine really held their interest and that they had enjoyed it very much. One commented specifically that he enjoyed listening because I had such an easy conversational tone. Coming from fellow pastors, I take that as a real compliment. Most pastors are very critical of other pastor’s sermons, go figure LOL

Another thing that I am proud of is that out of the 30+ pages of writing that I prepared for this interview, I was only questioned on 2 words. One was the use of the word “recumbancy” which one of the interviewers wanted to check to see if I knew what it meant, which I did because it was one of my Wesleyan Theology professors favorite words. And the other was the use of the word “colorblind” in relation to seeking diversity. I was informed that “colorblind” was a derogatory term to someone of color because it implies that you have no concern for their heritage. But, that was brought up more for my information than as a specific criticism.

The worst part of the day was the 5 hour wait while the board deliberated. When I was finally called back to receive my results, the board member put me out of my misery quickly and told me as we walked that it was good news. When we arrived at the room, and she shared with me the decision of the board, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as the full impact of her words hit me. The grace of God had indeed brought me safe thus far, and the grace of God will see me home.

Blessings

PS: Next time I will fill you in on the ramifications both personal and professional and what it will mean for me to be a Provisional Member of the Indiana Conference.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I PASSED....

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles
God took up Daniel once again,
Stood by his and side and- miracle of miracles
Walked him through the lions den!

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles
I was afraid that God would frown,
But like he did so long ago, at Jericho,
God just made a wall fall down!

I thought these lines from one of my favorite songs from "Fiddler on the Roof" were a perfect way to describe what I am feeling today. I will fill you in on all the details next time, but I am woefully behind on my reading and questions for my Foucault class tomorrow, and too be honest, I am just about wiped out!

Thank-you for all of your prayers and support, I felt everyone of them!!!!!

Blessings