What do we say when someone that we care about has lost a loved one? What do we say to someone who is hurting so badly that they aren’t even sure if they will be able to take another breath. This has always been a significant challenge for me, and I know that it is for many of you as well, because you have told me so in Bible studies, Sunday school classes and sitting together quietly in the funeral home.
I remember a Sunday school class once that was discussing grief and dealing with tragic loss. Each person in the class described the knot in their stomach and the lump in their throat as they approached their loved one or friend to attempt to find some words of solace or comfort. Each person described the desire not to say something wrong or hurtful which would only further the burden on their friend.
The interesting thing was that each person then turned from remembering their concern over what to say, to becoming critical of comments that others had said to them in times of loss. Comments like “It was God’s will” or asking questions about the deceased’s salvation.
The God that I worship is a loving God, a God of compassion and infinite grace. We don’t have to come up with the right words to say. Too be honest, there is nothing that we can say at such a time that will ease the overwhelming burden of pain. But there is something that we can do that will make all the difference in the world. I don’t really remember what people said to me when I lost my Dad or Mom or Brother, but I do remember each one of the hugs. I remember each person who was there, who sat with me, cried with me and held me for that extra second to show that they loved me.
It is in those times that we are called to bring the presence and light of God into a dark and difficult place. It is by simply being with that person that we can help in the healing. I believe that you can do more by simply holding a hand than you can by 1000 words. Grief is a long process, one that doesn’t end simply because the funeral is over, and the phone stops ringing. It is then that the real grief and healing begins, and it is then that they need you the most. Never hesitate to reach out in love, never think twice about placing a compassionate hand on a hurting shoulder and never be reluctant to embrace a fellow traveler in this journey of life.
Blessings
I remember a Sunday school class once that was discussing grief and dealing with tragic loss. Each person in the class described the knot in their stomach and the lump in their throat as they approached their loved one or friend to attempt to find some words of solace or comfort. Each person described the desire not to say something wrong or hurtful which would only further the burden on their friend.
The interesting thing was that each person then turned from remembering their concern over what to say, to becoming critical of comments that others had said to them in times of loss. Comments like “It was God’s will” or asking questions about the deceased’s salvation.
The God that I worship is a loving God, a God of compassion and infinite grace. We don’t have to come up with the right words to say. Too be honest, there is nothing that we can say at such a time that will ease the overwhelming burden of pain. But there is something that we can do that will make all the difference in the world. I don’t really remember what people said to me when I lost my Dad or Mom or Brother, but I do remember each one of the hugs. I remember each person who was there, who sat with me, cried with me and held me for that extra second to show that they loved me.
It is in those times that we are called to bring the presence and light of God into a dark and difficult place. It is by simply being with that person that we can help in the healing. I believe that you can do more by simply holding a hand than you can by 1000 words. Grief is a long process, one that doesn’t end simply because the funeral is over, and the phone stops ringing. It is then that the real grief and healing begins, and it is then that they need you the most. Never hesitate to reach out in love, never think twice about placing a compassionate hand on a hurting shoulder and never be reluctant to embrace a fellow traveler in this journey of life.
Blessings
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