Today is a defining moment for my Blog. I had made a commitment to share my journey with who ever was interested and wanted to come along with me. I promised to share with you the good the bad and the ugly. Up to this point with only a few notable exceptions I have mostly been sharing with you the good. To be honest, this is always my preference. I want you to know how God is working in my life, I want you to understand that God is working in your life as well, even if we can’t always see the effects. If given the choice between sharing a challenge with you and a joy, I will tend to pick the joy every time. If I have to choose between preaching the love of Christ or the consequences of sin, I tend to choose the love of Christ.
But, that just isn’t right, there must be a balance. Even though Christ spoke significantly about love, He also spoke about sin and it is impossible to appreciate the view from the top's of the mountains if you first haven’t first gone through the valleys to get there. So today is a defining moment, the moment when I choose to share with you not only the positive ramblings that flow through my brain, but also the fears, sorrows and challenges that are squarely entrenched in front of me.
So, with that part of my thought process placed before you, let me share that this has already been a difficult week. My classes this semester are going to be major challenges. Each of them is going to require a significant amount of reading, thought and writing. In addition I received an email from the Annual Conference letting me know that my packet for Commissioning will be arriving soon. This process of thought, reflection, consultation, writing and interviews is beyond a doubt going to be one of the greatest challenges of my life to this point, and after 48 years on this earth, I have faced a lot of challenges.
This morning I also received an email from the conference which set a date for some initial information to be submitted and I couldn’t help but notice all of the names who had received this email, quite a few of which I know to be wonderful pastors, brilliant scholars and terrific people. The problem for me started when I counted the names, there were 29 people who had received this email, 29 people who are in the process with me, and if last year was any example there may be as few as 12-13 chosen. That means that it will be possible that some where around 16-17 wonderful, brilliant, terrific people won’t be selected to continue in the process toward Ordination.
As the reality of those numbers settled in with me, it was a little bit like getting kicked in the stomach. I know that there are more important things in the world, and that my problems pale in comparison to many people that I know, and I also know that I have been truly blessed in this process. I find my mind wanting to go to the idea that, "This isn’t fair!” “I have worked so hard, they wouldn’t prevent me from going on now would they?” And what about the others who I know that are so qualified, I certainly don’t want to do anything but cheer for them because I truly love each of those people that I know on that list.
So, What do I do? The answer comes in the quiet still moment, the moment that I stop asking the question, “Hey what about me?” and start asking the question, “Hey what about God?” What is God’s plan? What is best for God’s kingdom? and Where do I best fit in? Now that last question is important, notice it’s not about where I want to fit in, but where does God plan for me to fit in?
Let me share with you a prayer written by John Wesley, I have recently rediscovered this prayer and it is the prayer that I cling to as I move forward in this uncertain time.
But, that just isn’t right, there must be a balance. Even though Christ spoke significantly about love, He also spoke about sin and it is impossible to appreciate the view from the top's of the mountains if you first haven’t first gone through the valleys to get there. So today is a defining moment, the moment when I choose to share with you not only the positive ramblings that flow through my brain, but also the fears, sorrows and challenges that are squarely entrenched in front of me.
So, with that part of my thought process placed before you, let me share that this has already been a difficult week. My classes this semester are going to be major challenges. Each of them is going to require a significant amount of reading, thought and writing. In addition I received an email from the Annual Conference letting me know that my packet for Commissioning will be arriving soon. This process of thought, reflection, consultation, writing and interviews is beyond a doubt going to be one of the greatest challenges of my life to this point, and after 48 years on this earth, I have faced a lot of challenges.
This morning I also received an email from the conference which set a date for some initial information to be submitted and I couldn’t help but notice all of the names who had received this email, quite a few of which I know to be wonderful pastors, brilliant scholars and terrific people. The problem for me started when I counted the names, there were 29 people who had received this email, 29 people who are in the process with me, and if last year was any example there may be as few as 12-13 chosen. That means that it will be possible that some where around 16-17 wonderful, brilliant, terrific people won’t be selected to continue in the process toward Ordination.
As the reality of those numbers settled in with me, it was a little bit like getting kicked in the stomach. I know that there are more important things in the world, and that my problems pale in comparison to many people that I know, and I also know that I have been truly blessed in this process. I find my mind wanting to go to the idea that, "This isn’t fair!” “I have worked so hard, they wouldn’t prevent me from going on now would they?” And what about the others who I know that are so qualified, I certainly don’t want to do anything but cheer for them because I truly love each of those people that I know on that list.
So, What do I do? The answer comes in the quiet still moment, the moment that I stop asking the question, “Hey what about me?” and start asking the question, “Hey what about God?” What is God’s plan? What is best for God’s kingdom? and Where do I best fit in? Now that last question is important, notice it’s not about where I want to fit in, but where does God plan for me to fit in?
Let me share with you a prayer written by John Wesley, I have recently rediscovered this prayer and it is the prayer that I cling to as I move forward in this uncertain time.
John Wesley’s Covenant Prayer
I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by you or laid aside by you,
enabled for you or brought low by you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
you are mine, and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
Blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment