Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tired but Good...

As I sit here in my dorm room contemplating the day, I have truly begun to understand how blessed I am. I have a wonderful and healthy family, I have just about completed four of the most difficult and rewarding years of my life, I have been approved for Commissioning by the Board of Ordained Ministry, I just returned from a life changing trip to El Salvador, I am finally beginning to make sense of Michel Foucault, I only have one more paper to get done before class tomorrow and I have more than enough time to do that, graduation is in 53 days (not that I’m counting) and next week is a break week. (Well a break from school, but one of the busiest church weeks of the year) I have 5 services to prepare for next week, so that will take most of my time. So as I relax this evening, it just feels good to be doing what God has called me to do, even though I know that I do tend to complain once in awhile:)

Blessings

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Dog...


I know that this is a bit on the long side, but I was so touched by it that I thought you might enjoy it as well. It is titled simply "The Dog..."

"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me."Can't you do anything right?"Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle."I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.

At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair.

As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?"The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?""Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision."I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly. Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones.

Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me.. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!"Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed,his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." "I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article... Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . .. his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.


Blessings

Friday, March 27, 2009

NO WORK ZONE!


I’m pretty excited today. I have decided to make today a NO WORK ZONE! We are taking off in a few minutes to run a couple of errands in Seymour followed by a trip to Columbus, IN for an excursion to a beauty salon (not for me) and maybe a stop by the Verizon store to see if I can find any accessories for my new phone that I can put on my wish list.

After that we are planning to go and visit our friends Ron and Nancy up in Shelbyville. Ron is retiring this year and he has all kinds of church related and theological books that he wants to get rid of, as they are downsizing into a condo in the Smoky Mountains. (lucky dogs) So, for me it will be a little bit like a kid in a candy store as I go through all of those books and put them on the long list of books that I want to read when I get done reading all of the books that I have to read:)

All in all, my plan is for an enjoyable relaxing day, no place that I have to be and nothing that is required. That leaves me all day tomorrow, Sunday and Monday to do the 6 days worth of work that needs to be done by Tuesday. Maybe after I graduate I can actually stop being behind schedule:)

Blessings

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Be True To Your School... What Am I Saying?

This morning I have decided that my blog entry is going to just be a mish-mash of the random thoughts which have been going through my brain. It could be that at this point my brain is overloaded to the point where it is incapable of stringing together a continuous thread of coherant thought, but then again, that really isn’t all that unusual for me:)

For some reason when I wake up on Thursday mornings, it always feels like a Monday. I am sure that it could have something to do with living in two worlds, spending half the week in Ohio and the other half at home in Indiana, or on the other hand, it could simply be dementia setting in from reading too much Michel Foucault.

Actually, I had a wonderful conversation with my Foucault professor yesterday, I shared with her my idea for a final project and got her approval, she is such a kind hearted person, and I think that she is an excellent example of the superior job that MTSO does in selecting the right people for our faculty. (And no, I can assure you that she doesn’t read my blog, so I am not just sucking up to the teacher) LOL

Another thing happened yesterday that opened my eyes to something that I have been thinking about. We had a visitor in our Evangelism class, a young woman from Indiana who is contemplating coming to MTSO in the fall. As I was talking to her, I found myself truly wanting her to come to MTSO and I found myself sharing with her all of the reasons that she would want to pick our school over the plethora of other choices that are out there.

The bottom line, as I left her, was that I am very much realizing how much I have really valued my time at MTSO. I have tremendous respect for the faculty, although I don’t personally agree with all of them and I believe that MTSO is the most beautiful campus of any in the United Methodist system, at least that I have seen. You might have noticed in my Blog yesterday that I mentioned going back on an annual basis to attend the Schooler Institute, which is an annual preaching symposium, this thought caused me to reflect back almost 30 years ago to when I graduated from Chiropractic College. After I left Marietta, GA, I had absolutely no thought of EVER going back to that school, I never wanted to darken those doors again, and I never have.

Do you suppose that my experience in Chiropractic college all those years ago was really that bad, or do you suppose that maybe I have just grown up a lot in the past 30 years? I think the jury may still be out on that one.

Blessings:)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

One More Item Off My List...

Last night I crossed another milestone on my journey toward graduation. My Cross Cultural class that went to El Salvador met for the last time. It was kind of a bitter sweet moment. On one hand I knew that this was one more significant item that I could mark off my "To Do" list before graduation, but on the other hand, I realize that each of these people who have become so special to me will begin to drift out of my life. I will still see a few of my fellow travelers in classes for the next six weeks, but others like our leader John, I may possibly never see again, and I find that quite sad.

One of the things about John that I have found so remarkable is that we are on totally different ends of the political spectrum, but other than our differences in politics, I have had to laugh at the great number of things that we have in common. Perhaps it is our age, which is close to the same, perhaps it is the fact that our families are similar, but regardless, I have found him to be a warm, kind and generous spirit who has taught me a great deal, and who I will remember for the rest of my life.

When you get to be my age, there are certain truths that begin to repeat themselves. I know that over the next few weeks I will begin to say my goodbyes to people who have meant a great deal to me over the past 4 years. We will say “keep in touch,” but the reality of life, distance and schedules says that keeping in touch won’t be likely. Some people I will be able to remain in contact with through Facebook and their blogs, others I will get to see a few times a year at Annual Conference or when I come back to Ohio annually to attend the Schooler Institutes, but life experience has taught me that it won’t be the same. Over the next few weeks as I continue to do things for the “last” time, it is my prayer and hope that I take the time to truly thank the people who have been so generous and kind to me through this process and that wherever God leads me in the future, I will take with me a small part of each one of them.

Blessings

Monday, March 23, 2009

If It's Monday, It Must Be Foucault...

Basically today I have two books to get through. I really do need to quit procrastinating! One of the books is for Evangelism class on Wednesday and we will be having a reading quiz over that one, and the other book is for my Foucault class tomorrow and I will be answering 4 questions on that reading. All in all, I would say that these readings alone will keep me pretty busy today, unfortunately I also have another “To Do” list which is even longer. I know what you’re thinking, I really should quit complaining. Even though it sounds like I am complaining, actually I’m not really, well, not a lot anyway:) Each one of these assignments is one more that I can check off my list to get done before May and each week of heading to Ohio brings me one week closer to the last trip.

I have pondered many times about what my thoughts and feelings will be when I make the last trip over to Seminary (pondering is one of those things I do very well), preparing to hand in my final work. I will bet that there will be a certain amount of mixed emotions. I will definitely be glad to be finished with the drives over and back, and my car will certainly appreciate the rest. I will be very glad to be finished with all of that school work as well. I won’t have nearly as much reading and writing to do, especially the kind that someone else asks me to do, instead I will be able to do the reading and writing that I want to. But ultimately, I think that there will be a certain amount of sadness. There will be people that I won’t get to see very often, and some that I will never see again, and that will be sad.

Oh well, I guess I should get busy reading these books, there will be plenty of time to reflect once I get the work done, but we procrastinators always love to spend more time thinking about what needs to be done than we do actually doing it :)

Blessings

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Spring is Here!


Spring is finally here, I have been anxiously waiting for this day since winter first reared its head back in December. Do you get the feeling that winter isn’t my favorite time of year? I mean, I absolutely love Fall, I very much enjoy Spring, Summer is really good, (it doesn’t rank quite so high because those hot days are hard on an old fat boy like me) But Winter has just never been my friend.

Maybe it’s because of that terrible winter back in 1979 or whatever the year of the great blizzard was, maybe it’s because of the time I nearly got my hands frostbitten sledding in the snow at the high school and wasn’t smart enough to come in when I got too cold, and maybe it was the winter where I flattened four tires on my dads van (not all at the same time) because I kept sliding into curbs (Dad made me purchase a new set of tires)

What ever the reason, from the first day of winter, I hold my breath, and pray for Spring, and as of 7:44 AM Friday, Spring is officially here and I can now breath a little more easily, well that is except for all of the pollen in the air and the allergies kicking in, I just can’t win can I :)

Blessings