Day 1 Early Morning

I have decided that the best way to share with you my experiences in El Salvador is to share my journal with you. I will try to post at least one day of my journal each day over the next couple of weeks. This will also help me to organize my thoughts while I can still read my handwriting. It really is worse than my spelling. The first journal entry begins at 2:45 AM on January 4th. I had just gotten up and was waiting for the van to arrive and take us to the airport.

January 4, 2009 2:45 AM

It is difficult to describe how I am feeling this morning. Well, perhaps not. For one thing, I am really tired. After getting only about two hours of sleep last night because I decided to stay up and watch the Colts all too early exit from the playoffs, hopefully I will get some sleep on the plane. On the other hand, I can now say that I am ready to turn 100% of my attention to the journey ahead.

Why have I been so slow to embrace this journey? I’m not sure that I have an answer to that question. Why in one breath can I understand that this trip is the opportunity of a lifetime and in the next, resist with all of my being any desire to even go on this odyssey? Good question!

Perhaps the answers that I am looking for can be found 3000 miles away in El Salvador. One funny aspect about this trip is that when people have asked me why I chose El Salvador, I have to answer that El Salvador actually chose me. I was originally scheduled to go to Guatemala, but that trip was full so our group was bumped to El Salvador. So, if I truly believe that El Salvador picked me, what does that say about God’s plan for me to go on this journey?

Well, I am about to see if those answers can be found all the way down in Central America. All of the planning is done, it’s time to go!

I'm Back!!!

First of all let me say how glad I am to be back home again in Indiana. I was never so happy to see anything in my life as I was to see the coast of Texas come into view from the vantage point of my window on the airplane. The time in El Salvador was truly more than I can put into words. It was remarkable, challenging, enlightening, difficult and heart breaking. The experiences were more than I can even begin to put into words right now.

Karen’s Mom called a little while ago and wondered why I hadn’t posted anything on my blog yet, and I believe that the truth is that I haven’t yet found the words to describe what I am thinking and feeling. Before I left for El Salvador, there were those who asked why my school required this Cross Cultural Immersion experience and I could only answer that they felt it was necessary to be a well rounded pastor. I had many people ask if it was really all that important to go to these places in person, wouldn’t it be just as productive and certainly cheaper to simply take a course or read a book, maybe even just have someone lecture about these subjects? Well, one thing that I can say for certain, what I experienced and learned in the time spent in El Salvador, could never have been experienced from a book, course or lecture. What I learned and saw has reached me on a gut level, and I know that will never be the same again.

The challenge that I have, is to try to share my feelings with you and everyone else who will be asking me in the days weeks and months ahead the simple question, How was El Salvador, or maybe even more simply, How was your trip, as if the response of “Oh it was very good,” or “I learned a great deal,” could ever do justice to what I am feeling in my heart.

So, I am going to ask for a little patience as I begin to process what I have experienced and struggle to find the words to describe what I am thinking. The time spent with the beautiful, warm, determined and strong people of El Salvador has changed my life forever, their struggle has broken my heart, and their resilience has given me great hope for the future. It is within this frame of thought that I will try to share what I have come to understand about these people and about their struggle. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet decided how to best do that.

Should I share my journal with you? Would that be the best way? Maybe I should just tell you about the highlights? Will I bore you to death with too many details, even though there is no way to help you understand the complexity of what I have learned without the detail? I have two fears, one is that I will bore you, and the greater fear is that I am not going to be successful in helping you to understand about these wonderful people and the challenges that they are working to overcome, and the trials that they continue to face.

I think that I am just going to share with you everything that I have learned and let you decide for yourselves what is important and what isn’t. Let me get one more good nights sleep in my own bed and then tomorrow I will begin to share with you about my journey through El Salvador.

Blessings

See you on the 19th!

Well, the time has come. The trip that seemed so far away is now upon me. I have to say that this has been an excellent day. I had a great trip over to Ohio with Ben and Crystal. I will say that it sure is nice not to have to drive, as a matter of fact, this was the first time that I have made this trip that I didn’t have to drive. They also surprised me with a memory card for my camera. I was hoping to get one so that I wouldn’t have to be too frugal in what pictures I took on the trip, but I just didn’t have enough money to get it and I resigned myself to the fact that would just take pictures of what was “really” important. But, without me knowing about it, they got me a 4 Gig memory card. The way I have it figured, I can take about 10,000 pictures without filling up the memory card.

I will also say that my phone has been busy today talking to everyone saying goodbye before I take off in the morning. It really was nice to hear all of the well wishes, and it sure makes me feel good to know that so many people are thinking about me and keeping me in their prayers.

I also received one of the nicest emails that I have ever received today from someone who reads my blog on a regular basis and her words were so kind and uplifting that it simply made my day.

So, here I am. Everything is packed, and as far as I can tell I am ready to go. I will be keeping you all in my prayers, and I thank everyone for all of their prayers, their well wishes and I especially thank those who have helped to make this trip possible.

Blessings to everyone and I will see you when I return on the 19th. (unless I get access to a computer in El Salvador :)

"E" is for Emergency!

Well, it is 7:00 AM on Saturday morning and instead of still being in my nice warm bed, I have been up and going for over an hour. I think that everything is just about ready. I am packed, and my list of things to get done is getting shorter and shorter. Ben and Crystal will be here around 9:00AM and we should be pretty much ready to load the car and go.

I think that the only time that I have ever been this stressed over a trip would be when Ben and I went to Canada fishing. I understood that when the float plane dropped us off at our cabin on a remote lake that other than putting this gigantic "E" (for emergency) down on the dock, and wait for one of the planes flying overhead to see it, there was no way to contact anyone in the outside world. At least on this trip I have a few more options than that. Although maybe not many more.

I will tell you that the pilots in Canada were pretty amusing. They told us that if we were having a real emergency to put the orange side of the "E" facing up and any pilot who sees it regardless of what company they work for will stop immediately. If we were just running low on Colman fuel or gas for the boat then put the green side of the "E" up and they will fly over once per day just to check on us. Then they get this very stern look on their face and say. "RUNNING OUT OF BEER DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A "REAL" EMERGENCY!" Of course we don't drink anyway, but I have to laugh wondering how many times they have landed, breaking away from what may have been very important flights just to hear someone say, "Hey could you bring us some beer eh?"

As I think about the next couple of weeks, I sure hope that I won't have to put the orange side of the "E" out. That could be a problem anyway, because I don't know where I could even find a boat dock in El Salvador:)

I will plan to write one more time tonight probably while I am relaxing in my dorm room watching the Colts play in their first playoff game.

Blessings

Almost Ready to Go!

Well, today is the day. If I don’t get it done today, it isn’t going to happen until I return on the 19th. You may like to know that I did indeed finish all of my board questions, I finished all of my autobiographical information, I got my sermon put onto a DVD and reformatted my manuscript so that it appeared polished, which is what they asked for. Last night, I put the finishing touches on a lesson plan for a 5 week course for people interested in joining the Methodist Church and now today I need to proofread one more time and then submit electronically the things that go that way, and mail the work that has to be mailed. From there, it is out of my hands and into God’s, and of course the Board of Ordained Ministry.

Now, I can turn my attention 100% to getting ready to leave for El Salvador. I really have no idea what to expect, I am just going to try to go with an open mind and absolutely no agenda. I just want to get to know the people as well as to understand their circumstances. I want to learn how they live, what is important to them, and maybe more importantly, what it is that they would want me to know about them, their country and their culture.

Tomorrow morning, Ben and Crystal are driving me over to school. I am very much looking forward to showing them around the campus, so that they can see where I have been going every week for the past four years. Then Sunday morning at 3:15 AM, I will meet with the rest of the group in the parking lot behind the dorm and we will leave on our odyssey.

I am hoping to be able to post one more time to my blog on Saturday night from my dorm room, but after that, unless we get some unexpected computer access, my next post will come on Monday morning January19th when I return.

Today is one of those days with more work to get done than time to do it; I better get my list out and get started.

Blessings

New Years Day Rant... Maybe I should have gotten more sleep?

I bet that I am up and going earlier than most of you on this first day of 2009. Of course, I probably went to bed earlier than most of you as well. Last night we took Mary and Andrew down to the Senior Citizen’s Center for a gathering of one of the families from Cana Church. It was really a great evening and we had a wonderful time, and it was nice to spend New Years Eve with this group of people that we appreciate so very much.

However, by around 9:00, Mary and Andrew seemed to be ready to go, plus we had promised them that they could watch Horton Hears a Who before they went to bed. So, after they got their PJ’s on, we put in Horton and sat back to enjoy the movie. Within about 15 minutes, I was sound asleep and the next thing I knew, the movie was over and we were all headed off to bed.

So, no ringing in the New Year for me, no watching the ball drop, and thank goodness no Ryan Seacrest. You know, I watched TV for a few minutes before I fell asleep, and wouldn’t you think that Ryan would have bothered to shave before going on in front of millions of people around the world. Ok, I know, I am getting old, but one thing is for sure, Dick Clark would never have gone on the air with a five o’clock, or maybe 10 o’clock shadow.

Ok, and while I am at it, I have 2 other things that bother me about the brief, no more than 5 minutes of television that I watched last night, (I should have stuck with Horton Hears a Who), The first was 2 different programs doing year-end montages in an attempt to paint Sarah Palin into the most negative light possible. I must admit that I simply don’t understand how, even if you disagree with her on some of her positions, such as abortion, that you can’t celebrate what she has accomplished. It seems that many of these people don’t even consider that she was bright enough to become the mayor of a city, and then to run against people in her own party who were totally corrupt and defeat them. No one seems to care that this woman is the Governor of one of the largest and richest sates in the US, and she has an unprecedented approval rating. Of course, I realize that she isn’t perfect, who is, and of course, any politician who has actually accomplished something, can find people who would say that they have abused their power, and speaking of which, isn’t it interesting how all of that simply went away after the spotlight of the national media did “their job” and totally trashed this woman. Could it be that there wasn’t anything to these charges to begin with?

And to my feminist friends, who I actually have (or maybe had after this) quite a few, even though you may disagree with her on many issues, doesn’t she actually live out what feminism is all about? Isn’t she someone who is doing it all? Isn’t she someone who is successful and independent in her own right, someone who has accomplished great things, someone who has managed to balance family, work and career, and is tremendously respected in all of those areas of her life? And, in addition, isn’t she someone who is doing all of this while raising a handicapped child? Yet, instead of, at the very least, rising to say, even though we disagree with her on a number of issues, we celebrate her accomplishments, the feminists, and others, attacked her, and continue to attack her viciously. To be honest, (and I am sure that this won’t endear me to my feminist friends), you remind me of the cartoon character Pogo, who said, “We have met the enemy, and [She] is us!”

My advice to those who live in my home state of Illinois, (which just about the time you think it can’t get any worse in their political roller coaster, it gets worse), Is to pick up the phone and call Sarah Palin. It sounds to me like she is exactly what your state needs to get rid of the massive, endemic, and epidemic corruption that has been a part of the state for my whole life.

Ok, and if you are still reading, one more thing. I am getting so very weary of listening to the complaints in the media about Rick Warren. First the complaint is that he supported (or didn’t support, I get confused) proposition 8 on Gay Marriage in California. Now the compliant is that he could possibly have the nerve and audacity (hints of sarcasm) to pray in the name of Jesus. Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that praying in the name of Jesus was such a horrific thing to do.

First of all, I am a great supporter of diversity; I am also a supporter of rights for all people and for justice. But with that being said, I have begun to understand that those who are on the very far left of issues tend to use these words such as diversity and fairness, and inclusiveness, but only when it means hearing the voices of those who agree with them. Those who are on the far left seek to scream at the tops of their lungs that their voices aren’t being heard, while at the same time seeking to silence (or ridicule) any voice that may be in opposition to them, or even simply have a different opinion.

I remember last year at school, when a student had requested that Sam’s Club be asked to come on campus and sign-up anyone interested in a Sam’s Club membership. (I believe that Cosco had been on campus earlier in the year)You can’t believe the amount of anger and hysteria that was created by this one simple request. (It’s hard for me to believe that some people hate Walmart so much) I spoke to an administration official about this, who was actually quite hurt by the way that she was treated by many students as well as faculty over something that was so trivial. The ultimate outcome was that Sam’s Club was essentially asked not to come, thank goodness. Can you imagine some poor, minimum waged Sam’s Club employee, simply doing their job, walking into the firestorm which would have surely ensued had they come onto campus? So much for inclusiveness, and diversity.

Ok, so what’s my point? There are those who would say that I don’t understand. That’s ok, I have heard that before, and perhaps I don’t. But, I believe that I do understand more than I am sometimes given credit for. And what I understand is that we need to truly be open to hearing all sides, even if we don’t agree. I believe that we should be debating (civilly) the issues and not what someone is wearing, or how they talk, and whether or not they went to Yale or Harvard.

I believe that anyone should be allowed to pray to God, whoever they believe that to be, at any time and at any place that they see fit, and when a Christian is asked to pray that they should feel free to pray to Jesus, and if a Muslim were asked to pray that they feel free to pray to Allah. I also believe that any recognized religion that would like to celebrate their particular holiday should be allowed to do so in our public areas, but they should not be allowed to ridicule or diminish other faiths as was done out in Washington State this year with the display at the State Capital.

My prayer for 2009 is that we put aside this ridiculous partisan arguing and truly seek to hear all voices. Maybe more of us should be willing to do as President Obama has done with his Cabinet and surround ourselves with many different voices, those who agree and those who do not. If we truly hear all voices, then perhaps we can become that diverse nation that we would all like to be.
Blessings

It’s Just Another New Years Eve…

We have arrived at New Years Eve. I must admit that I have never been a big fan of New Years Eve celebrations. If anything, they always tend to make me a bit sad. While everyone else is celebrating and ringing in the New Year, due to my personality, I tend to be a little more subdued and introspective. I think about the year that has just past, I think about those who are no longer with us. I reflect on the triumphs as well as the tragedies of the year, then I think about the year to come, not necessarily with the sense of optimism that I should have, but with a bit of wonder and concern about what the New Year is going to bring.

Ok, I know that this isn’t showing much faith, but I really do have deep faith. I know that whatever happens to me in the next year God will see me through it. Whatever catastrophes occur, God will give me the strength and wisdom to survive. But with that being said, I also understand that the year ahead will be a challenging one. We are still short one miracle for me to graduate, I have no idea what will happen with the Board of Ordained Ministry interviews which will be coming up in March, I have absolutely no idea where we will be appointed after Graduation. Will I stay where I am? Will I be moved? Will I have my appointment discontinued with no further appointments to come? These are the things that go through my mind on New Years Eve. I’m kind of a bummer to be around today, aren’t I?

I remind myself of Billy Crystal in the movie City Slickers when he wakes up on his birthday, and is always depressed, There is one scene where I believe he is at work and is talking about how terrible things are and his coworker says, Oh that’s right Happy Birthday, as his co-worker recognizes that this is the way that he acts on his birthday. Well, I don’t ever let birthdays bother me, but I do tend to get this way a bit on New Years Eve.

But, the good news is that once I wake up January 1, I am back to normal and ready to face the world. So bear with me, let me get through today and tomorrow morning, I am back to my warm and lovable personality. Well, maybe that is an exaggeration:)

Blessings

Oh, by the way, the song that I have shared with you is written and performed by Barry Manilow. This is another one of his obscure songs that I really like, and if you listen to the words you will see that Barry must think a lot like I do on new Years Eve.