Stop Picking On Me!!

I have to admit that in one way I feel that I am probably not qualified to comment on the state of education in our schools today. However, I certainly do feel qualified to comment on my own personal experience and I will leave it up to you as to what extent my experience translates into the reality of the state of our classrooms today. I will simply let you be the judge.

Yesterday, it seems like my day was focused on education. After church I had the opportunity to go to lunch with a young friend of mine and I must tell you that for a young man who is only in the second grade, he is wise well beyond his years. During our conversation we covered every topic on earth from his favorite race driver on Mario Cart, which happens to be Toadstool, to the proper way to care for a pet tarantula, which thank goodness he doesn’t have yet, but he is sure hoping.

However, when the subject turned to school, I could see an immediate change in his demeanor and his level of enthusiasm. My heart broke as we talked about how on a daily basis the other kids picked on him on the bus and at school. It seemed that no matter what he did, he just couldn’t avoid the constant bombardment of torments and teasing. And, no matter what his parents tried, and no matter how many converstaions with the school officials they had, nothing seemed to help.

For me, it was as if I was suddenly transported back 40 years to another young boy that I knew very well, that was the smallest and youngest in his class, a boy who always seemed strange to the other kids because he was better at things like music than he was at sports and because of this, for some reason, he always seemed to be the favorite target of the bigger kids and those who just went along because it was easier to pick on the weak than it was to stand up for what was right.

As I listened I couldn’t help but wonder why this type of bullying is still allowed to happen in our schools and on the bus. Haven’t we learned some way in all of these years to protect these kids? Now don’t get me wrong. I have always been a big supporter of teachers. My Mom was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, I have two cousins that are teachers and my sister is a teacher. I come from a long line of teachers, but with that being said, I just don’t feel that there is enough done today, or ever for that matter, to protect those who can’t protect themselves.

I think back to an experience that we had when our son was finishing 5th grade. It was the last day of school and the kids were on the playground. Our son, who followed in my footsteps as far as being the unfortunate target of bullying, was struck in the face by another student. With a bleeding face and broken glasses he went up to the teacher on duty who immediately told him to stand up against the wall, that recess was about over. No investigation, no talking to the bully who perpetrated the attack, not even an attempt at justice. It was Ben who was punished for getting his face in the way of the other boy’s fist and forced to stand up against the wall.

After calling the principal and asking why no one seemed to care what happened, I was told that the teachers are very busy watching all of those kids and that she made the decision that she thought was best at the time. I simply asked the principal what message was he sending? Knowing that you are going to be the one punished, why would you ever be willing to do what you are supposed to do and go to the teacher when something like this happens? I asked the principal, would you like for me to teach my child that the next time this happens to knock the "holy bee gees" out of the other kid? Of course, the principal then answered, “Well, of course you know that fighting is never the solution to the problem,” to which I agreed and said that he was right, the solution is to go to someone in authority and tell them what happened, but we could see how far my son got following the "right" course of action.

I realize that this problem is as old as humanity itself, and that there are no easy solutions to these problems. It just breaks my heart to know that there are kids going to school everyday that are bullied and terrorized and our schools, despite their rhetoric, are allowing it to go on seemingly unchecked.

My prayer today is for all of those kids, who really ask nothing more than that they are allowed to go to school in peace, and that they be respected and allowed simply to be themselves. I pray for our educators who are charged with a tremendously difficult job, often not being given the resources that they need to do the work the way it should be done. And finally, I pray for the kids who do the bullying, that God touch their hearts and allow them to see their fellow students as God sees them, as children of God.

Blessings

What a Difference a Week Makes...

What a difference a week makes. I was thinking back to what I wrote last Saturday night and I can’t help but to remember the intense sense of fear and trepidation I was feeling. Of course, when my entire future was waiting to be decided by a group of people that I didn’t even know, I suppose that maybe I had at least a little reason for concern.

Now, fast forward one week, and tonight as I am getting prepared to turn my clocks ahead and get to bed early since we will lose an hours sleep tonight, it seems that my entire outlook on life has changed. I am feeling positive about my future for what feels like the first time in a very long time, and I can’t really even describe the sense of confidence that I suddenly seem to have.

I must admit that this feeling of confidence is the one that surprises me the most. Is it because some outside group has confirmed my call? If that is the case, it makes me question my own level of faith even to the point of being rather ashamed that I wasn’t more confident in what God could do in my life. Is it because I proved something to myself? That would bother me just as much because after all of the challenges and hardships of the last four years, if I haven’t proven to myself that I could do it by now, then perhaps I never will. (roughly paraphrased from one of my favorite movies “Rudy”)

Perhaps, my feeling of confidence comes from humbly watching as God has worked a miracle in my life, and now I am more ready than ever before to come down from the mountaintop experience and get out in the world and share what this great and awesome God has done for me. I think out of all the options I like this one best of all.

Well, it’s time to get to bed, I can’t wait for tomorrow to see what God is going to do next! And no matter what happens, I am going to need my rest:)

Blessings

Highs and Lows...

Today has the look and feel of what can become a very busy day. There are two things however, that are highest on my priority list, they are, preparing for a funeral tomorrow and getting my sermon done for Sunday. I am certainly looking forward to graduating so that hopefully my sermon preparation can be done a little earlier in the week. That sounds like it should be able to happen since I won’t have the 8 hour round trip to Ohio and school work to contend with, but who knows, this time next year I may still be telling you on Friday morning that I need to work on my sermon for Sunday:)

I also want to share with you something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for the past couple of days. While I was in the middle of my joy and exuberance over passing the Board, I found out that a very dear friend of mine was denied by the board. You might remember me telling you that the board has three options. Approval, Delaying for a year and Denial. If one is Denied, they are no longer eligible to even reapply in the future, their journey in the United Methodist Church is over.

My friend has completed nine years of college and seminary education, seven years in the Candidacy process, attended three Annual Conferences, and served two Appointments and now he has been Denied by the Board and informed that his License will be allowed to expire on July 1. I share this with you for two reasons. The first is that I have tried to be as open and honest with you as I could about how I have been feeling throughout this entire journey that we have been on together, and second is that I wanted you to know that when I was expressing my most profound fears to you throughout this process, that they were indeed founded upon reality and not some desire to garner sympathy or assurance from you.

I understand that when we look at this Candidacy process, we are only able to look at it though our own unique lens. None of us are privileged to truly see all sides. As a Candidate, I can not possibly know the pressures and stress that the Board is under. I am also not privy to the information contained within the voluminous files that the board members had to carry around and be intimately familiar with. With that being said, I also understand that the board members only have a short period of time to truly get to know each candidate and they ultimately have to rely a great deal on what we write in our answers and what others may say about us in letters of recommendation and conversation.

Throughout this process I have been assured by one important thing and that is my knowledge that God is Good all the time, and that no matter what happens, God will always be there for me. My heart goes out to my friend, but I also have the assurance that God has very great things planned for him and his wonderful young family.

Blessings

"My Dad Has Facebook...How Crazy is That?"

Today I feel like I have taken a massive step forward in the world of communication and technology only to realize that I am still light years behind most of the people I know. I received an email a few weeks ago about joining a group of my fellow seniors on Facebook as a way to communicate about our upcoming graduation. Of course my initial response was uhhhhhhh “No Thanks.” Unfortunately, I began to discover that if I was going to have any information at all about what was going on, I would have to take the plunge and join Facebook.

My first reaction was WOW. I can’t believe how much information is out there about all of my friends. Part of me is very excited, I have learned more about some of the people that I know in this first day than I have about them in all the time that I have known them. I even learned that Crystal and Mary went to see Miss America yesterday which is a very cool thing.

My second reaction was a bit terrifying. There is so much information that is available out there that I can see why parents would be, and should be, concerned about what information kids have on their Facebook pages. I was showing Karen what people had written and then I showed her that Terri said “My dad has Facebook… How crazy is that? And she noticed that it was posted sometime in the middle of the night, and wanted me to type back a message and tell Terri that she was staying up way too late. Then I mentioned that I could do that but it would be seen by all of my “friends” and all of Terri’s “friends” and did she really want me to do that? Uhhhh probably not!

My third reaction was that I am very glad that I didn’t discover Facebook 3 years ago, or I might not be graduating. Yesterday afternoon in class, I found myself working on my Facebook page, sending requests to people that I knew to put me on their list, and responding to friends who wanted to add me to theirs, (Yes I know I should have been paying attention, but it was really boring, and plus I am graduating in a couple of months:) I then saw a message that said, Sherry (name changed to protect the guilty): “isn’t paying attention” Then I realized that “Sherry” was sitting right in front of me, and I responded by saying that Sherry should be paying attention like I am, Which she responded that since I am paying such close attention she could borrow the copious notes that I was obviously taking, to which I responded uhhhh errrrr uhhhhh, the dog ate my notes, to which someone on the other side of class then commented and laughed at our conversation. Suddenly I discovered that half the class was on Facebook following the conversation.

Oh My! I can’t believe how far out of the communications loop I have been all of these years. With that being said, I can see the benefits of Facebook, and I can certainly see the problems with it. For now, I will try to avoid getting addicted to it and I will make every attempt not to log on while in class, regardless of how boring it may be. Technology can be exciting, and all of these new ways to communicate can be fun, but I still prefer the face to face kind. I remember having the conversation a few months ago about this new technology and being told that we now know more about what someone is thinking and feeling and what is going on in the lives of our families and friends than ever before. To this I agree, I think that we have much more information about other people, for better or for worse, than ever before. But, it is important that we don’t go on information overload and confuse knowing information about someone with the real communication of reaching out and touching their hearts:)

Blessings

So, what does it all mean?

I thought that today I would take some time to fill you in on what passing the interview process of the board’s means both personally and professionally. The next step is to go before the Executive Session at Annual Conference the end of June for a final vote, so as much as I would like to think that it is a done deal, there is still one more critical vote to come. With that being said, I have been to 5 Annual Conferences, sat through 5 Executive Sessions and have watched over 100 people go up for a vote, and during that time, I have heard a total of maybe 10 individual “NO” votes spread between 100 different people over that time. In other words, almost everyone is unanimously accepted and no one has ever been voted down at Annual Conference that I have seen, so unless I do something pretty bad between now and June to upset the entire State of Indiana, I should be just fine:)

The next thing this means is that I will need to have a full time appointment. As a “Provisional Member” it is required by Discipline that I spend the next 3 years of preparation working in a full time position. Now with that being said, it doesn’t mean that I will be moved. They also have the ability to add another charge onto the two that I have in order to bring me to full time status. I love Crothersville and Cana, and if they ask me (which they won’t) my vote is to stay put where I am. But, this decision is strictly up to the Bishop and the Cabinet, and my only input is to do what I am told to do, and go where I am called.

During the next 3 years, I will be enrolled in a program called RIM, Residence in Ministry program. Although I don’t know a great deal about the program, I do know that I will be meeting with this group of people on a very regular basis over the next 3 years, attending regular weekend retreats as well as longer ones once per year. The process is designed to prepare me for Ordination at the end of the three year period. I believe that this will be an enjoyable experience and it will be a good transition from the daily work of seminary to a little less rigorous learning environment.

Words really can’t describe how I am feeling about all of this. I hardly slept at all Sunday night worrying about the interviews and then Monday night I hardly slept thinking about all of the pressure that had come off from my shoulders. I now have at least some sort of guarantee of a job for the next 3 years which wasn’t the case at all a few days ago. I have the guarantee of a place to live, and I will not have to think about what to do with Odie if some place didn’t want animals. (we Methodists think that it is important that pastors and their families be allowed to have dogs and cats) I can now focus on these last few weeks of seminary, and Lent, and Holy Week, and Vacation Bible School, and all of those other things that don’t seem quite so stressful now.

In reality, we have only one real challenge remaining for us over the next 3 months and that is to come up with about $2500 before they will let me graduate. But, the funny thing is that after the experience with the Board, I have truly learned to quite worrying about these things, I have no doubt that God is busy right now working to help me solve this roadblock, and that just like every other semester before, this little miracle will happen as well.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Blessings

Monday was one long day....

As you could tell from yesterday’s post, I did indeed pass my interviews with the Board of Ordained Ministry. It was a very long challenging day. I was up and out the door a little after 5:00 AM, I wanted to be sure to leave plenty of time since I didn’t know exactly where I was going. After I arrived, the Board and all of the candidates went into the sanctuary for a welcome time of reflection, prayer and worship. Then we were told what the pattern for the day would be and then each of us was ushered to our first interview.

In general, I found the interviews to be warm and affirming. I had great fears that the questions would be difficult and technical in nature such as, explain the concept of the Economic Trinity (which I could have answered that one:) or something even worse. The entire trip up to Plainfield was consumed with panic over thoughts of questions that they could possibly ask that I couldn’t answer. However, the questions were all very open ended and to be honest, I felt that thy were basic questions that any pastor should be able to articulate.

Most of the time I felt a little bit like a batter taking batting practice and hitting one after the other over the fence. For instance one of the questions was, tell us about your understanding of Wesleyan Theology and what makes it unique? That may not sound too easy to most of you, but to a United Methodist pastor who has spent the last 4 years at a United Methodist Seminary, studying Wesleyan Theology with professors who have written books on the subject, trust me, it is a simple question.

I have to admit that what made me the most proud was that I heard several times from the interviewers that my paperwork and answers to the questions that I wrote before leaving for El Salvador were excellent, and 3 different interviewers commented on my video taped sermon, saying that sometimes it is very difficult to watch these sermons, but that mine really held their interest and that they had enjoyed it very much. One commented specifically that he enjoyed listening because I had such an easy conversational tone. Coming from fellow pastors, I take that as a real compliment. Most pastors are very critical of other pastor’s sermons, go figure LOL

Another thing that I am proud of is that out of the 30+ pages of writing that I prepared for this interview, I was only questioned on 2 words. One was the use of the word “recumbancy” which one of the interviewers wanted to check to see if I knew what it meant, which I did because it was one of my Wesleyan Theology professors favorite words. And the other was the use of the word “colorblind” in relation to seeking diversity. I was informed that “colorblind” was a derogatory term to someone of color because it implies that you have no concern for their heritage. But, that was brought up more for my information than as a specific criticism.

The worst part of the day was the 5 hour wait while the board deliberated. When I was finally called back to receive my results, the board member put me out of my misery quickly and told me as we walked that it was good news. When we arrived at the room, and she shared with me the decision of the board, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as the full impact of her words hit me. The grace of God had indeed brought me safe thus far, and the grace of God will see me home.

Blessings

PS: Next time I will fill you in on the ramifications both personal and professional and what it will mean for me to be a Provisional Member of the Indiana Conference.

I PASSED....

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles
God took up Daniel once again,
Stood by his and side and- miracle of miracles
Walked him through the lions den!

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles
I was afraid that God would frown,
But like he did so long ago, at Jericho,
God just made a wall fall down!

I thought these lines from one of my favorite songs from "Fiddler on the Roof" were a perfect way to describe what I am feeling today. I will fill you in on all the details next time, but I am woefully behind on my reading and questions for my Foucault class tomorrow, and too be honest, I am just about wiped out!

Thank-you for all of your prayers and support, I felt everyone of them!!!!!

Blessings